To all the women reading this – I want you to know that this is your chance to become your strongest self no matter how scary it seems right now. You got this!
When Heavy Periods Steal Your Life
When you realize you deserve better in life you find incredible strength.
This is a positive hysterectomy story but first you need to understand how I got there. I’ve spent almost 10 years struggling with heavy periods. I’ve rearranged travel, missed important events and been unable to spend precious time with family during short visits to Canada.
My periods have negatively impacted my ability to make a living. Every month I shut down my business for a couple of days and cancel my client’s workouts.
The heavy bleeding is affecting my mental health. I’m stuck in the house for at least a week every month – often longer – and the isolation and inability to do anything, including training, leaves me feeling disheartened and depressed. Low iron also can increase feelings of sadness and anxiety so it’s another hit to my brain.
It’s taken a huge toll on my relationship because at first it was about not being able to do anything but then it became more about my moods when I was stuck at home. I started to envy and resent that my partner could have a life when I was stuck at home all the time. I got annoyed when he said he was too tired to go to the gym when I was dying to be able to train. Does anyone else with low iron feel like men don’t really understand what tired feels like?
Chronic low iron is also affecting my physical health. I worry mostly about the impact on my heart (over time low iron can have some negative effects on your heart). My iron is so low that any intense cardio is a complete no-go for me. I usually only take shorter, slower walks so as to not put extra stress on my body. I have to take time off from training every month and I also can’t train hard. I’ve lost weight and muscle in the past year. That really, really sucks.
It all sucks. Enough is enough.
I know it’s been hard but what really struck me was when I started telling clients I was going to have a hysterectomy and they all started saying:
“You deserve so much better than you’ve had.”
It made me realize just how bad it has been. People who care about me have been silently watching my energy and life stolen away from me and hoping I’ll do something about it. Yet I clung to my uterus and the idea that I could manage it. I never, ever, ever wanted a hysterectomy. Here’s how it happened.
Watch my story on YouTube:
Deciding To Have A Hysterectomy
One day a client gave me a motherly lecture telling me I needed to get myself sorted out. As luck would have it, her partner was a well-respected doctor and I didn’t have a good doctor at the time. I avoid doctors if possible. But my client was persistent and I made an appointment.
Two weeks later I found myself getting an ultrasound for what I thought was one or maybe a few fibroids. However, as the sonographer explained my uterus now had innumerable fibroids. I had so many fibroids she didn’t even know where to start in terms of measuring them for her report. As she talked me through it and I looked at my uterus on the screen, reality sunk in.
There was no other option. I had so many fibroids the only option was going to be a hysterectomy. I had lost the struggle.
If I kept my uterus, I was going to be in big trouble and I don’t think I had much time. I was starting to be able to feel the pressure from the fibroids in my pelvic area and the bleeding was out of control. Post-surgery I found out that my uterus weighed one kilogram (in research articles they refer to a 500g or more uterus as very large and mine was twice that size!).
So, actually, I guess I didn’t really choose to get a hysterectomy. I had no choice.
How I Feel About Having A Hysterectomy
Not having a choice was probably the best possible outcome in my case. Otherwise, I would have delayed surgery and tried to find other alternatives. Instead of wasting time, I moved fast.
I asked my doctor to designate my case as urgent and immediately contacted a surgeon (I had private insurance which meant I could move faster). The surgeon’s assistant pulled him out of a conference to look at my file and called me back with an appointment for surgery that was just over two weeks away.
There was less than three weeks between getting the ultrasound and my hysterectomy. And that was good because I’m highly anxious about doctors, hospitals and especially surgery. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible to avoid dragging out my anxiety.
The short turn around meant I was so busy organizing my life that I had less time to worry. Once everything was booked, I decided to take some time out to connect with how I was feeling.
I thought I would feel sad for losing my uterus. Over the years I have held on so hard to it and never wanted a hysterectomy. Surprisingly, though, I realized I felt sad but not for losing my uterus.
Instead I felt sadness for what I had endured for the last couple of years. For the last ten years or so. It’s been so exhausting being knocked down month after month. I’ve been stuck in the house for the past year because I’m bleeding so much. I’m missing out on life.
I feel uncomfortable in my own body most of the time now. I feel unattractive and like I’ve lost my femininity. I wear black clothes and long loose shirts all the time. I wear massive pads for at least half the month – which also means I don’t want to go out and do anything.
One of the worst things has been not being able to train. Fortunately I have my own training space because the gym is often not an option. Even when I do work out, because of my chronically low iron, I can’t train hard and I’m losing muscle. I don’t have a lot of hobbies and other activities so not being able to set goals in the gym, train hard and be consistent has very negatively impacted my quality of life. It’s what I love doing.
My fibroids have literally been sucking the life out of me and the rest of my body. In that moment of checking in with myself I realized I felt sad for the life I had lost and relief that it was all going to be over.
In the lead up to my surgery I stayed out of forums and off Google for the most part but I let myself read or watch one positive hysterectomy story everyday. One YouTuber said that the hysterectomy was a gift to herself and I couldn’t agree more.
This was going to be my gift to myself and the start of a new life.
My Positive Hysterectomy Story – Hope For Your Future
As I write this blog post I am three weeks post surgery. I’m feeling reasonably good and hopeful. In my initial meeting with my surgeon he said that about three months after my hysterectomy I’m going to have an epiphany about how amazing I feel compared to how it’s been. I think I’ve probably already had that epiphany and I feel so thankful for how everything has worked out.
I’m already rocking colored tights again and I’ve thrown out the pads and granny undies. Even though I’m still recovering, I feel more feminine and energetic than I did when I was having periods. And I am so, so, soooo looking forward to rebuilding my strength and transforming my body in a way I haven’t been able to for years.
Every surgery comes with risks and I may still experience some challenges from mine, but for me the positives have outweighed the negatives by far and I feel strong enough to deal with what comes up in the future.
Deciding to have a hysterectomy is deeply personal and I am not trying to sway you in either direction. I only want to share my story so that I can offer you hope the way others did for me.
Want some help safely returning to exercise post-surgery? Check out the Comeback Post-Surgery Program here. This is an 8 week phased training program that will safely step up your strength and get you back on to your regular exercise routine – or possibly help you become stronger than you’ve ever been before!
Related Resources
Iron Deficiency Symptoms + How To Deal With Fatigue & Anxiety From Low Iron
How To Exercise With Low Iron – Including Timing Training Around Your Monthly Energy Cycle
