Enough Is Enough…
Are you someone who is always trying to lose that extra last bit of weight? Someone who always sees flaws in the mirrors even though people tell you how great you look? Do you focus on the small things – like a bit of cellulite or not having the same flat stomach you had in your 20s?
Not sure if this is you? Here’s a clue. People probably call you a “health” or “fitness” freak. You might be known around the office as someone who packs a healthy lunch or prefers to hit the gym rather than go out for drinks after work. You are very dedicated to your fitness but…..
You are never quite happy with your body. Even though everyone tells you how great you look – you keep striving for more. I have a question for you and I really want you to think about your answer.
Is that last little bit of weight worth focusing on?
I’m here to tell you that you need to stop being dissatisfied with yourself. Enough is enough. You probably need some convincing to change your focus so here’s why it’s time for a mindset change.
You Don’t Understand Your Priorities
Here’s the thing. We all would love to have an amazing body. Some of us especially are really dedicated to our fitness and it’s a high priority for us. But, there are other things we prioritize more and that’s why we never quite get there when it comes to the vision we have for our bodies.
Your physique is a reflection of your priorities. Those really ripped women you see in the gym or on Instagram prioritize their training and nutrition over everything else. You, on the other hand, have different priorities. You may enjoy looking good but fitness isn’t your job or your ultimate focus in life.
For many women, life is full of competing priorities with family and career usually being the most important ones.
Your social life may also be a competing priority. This is especially common for women in their 40s and 50s because they’ve finally reached a point in their lives where they have more time and financial resources to invest in their health and fitness. However, these same women have a competing social life for the same reason – more time and money which means they can enjoy the finer things in life, including good food and wine. They often feel dissatisfied because they don’t know how to strike the balance between their fitness goals and their social life.
If you want to truly get to the next level with your body then you are going to have to re-arrange your priorities. As much as I would love to tell you that you can have it all – believe me I wish I could too – something gets sacrificed. And I’m not saying you should give up your fitness goals, I’m just suggesting you should be more realistic about what’s worth achieving given your priorities in life.
Your Health Should Always Come First
For many women, getting past a certain level of leanness takes a lot of effort and for good reason. Our bodies aren’t meant to be that lean all the time. In fact, for many women, myself included, health gets worse very quickly when they push past a certain point.
Health should always come first. This is especially true the older you get. There will come a point in your life when you can’t ignore your health anymore.
If you are in your late 30s or 40s, I don’t need to tell you that things are changing. You know. A lot of these changes we experience, more anxiety, moodiness, fatigue, worse PMS and periods, can be linked to stress and all those competing priorities we talked about in the previous section. Dieting hard and/or overexercising are sure-fire ways to make yourself feel even worse. That’s because you are adding to the stress on your already tired, overworked body.
When you are constantly trying to lose weight or feeling dissatisfied with yourself you introduce a new, daily stress into the mix. Dieting and overexercising are big stressors and your body doesn’t need that on top of all the hormonal changes and health challenges that come as you get older. Trying to achieve a next level of leanness is a huge stressor on the body and the mind that just isn’t worth it.
This is a time to focus on nourishing yourself – not restricting your diet. Interestingly, when you stop focusing on restriction and start taking care of yourself, you will also look better. Isn’t this ultimately what we are after in this never ending quest for leanness?
Building Muscle Should Be Your Focus
Just as you should be focusing on nourishment over restriction, you should be focusing on building strength, and not losing weight as you get older. Here’s why.
You can’t lose weight and build muscle at the same time. Losing weight requires a calorie deficit and getting smaller – you will inevitably lose some muscle too. To build muscle, on the other hand, you are going to have to eat more (create a calorie surplus) and gain some weight, some of which may be fat (hopefully a small amount if you do it right).
Now, you might not want to gain weight. I get that. But, for many women who are already leaner than average, building muscle is what makes their physique go from average to awesome. Even if that means putting on a bit of extra weight.
Looks aside – let’s talk about longevity. Specifically I want to talk about sarcopenia. Sarcopenia is something we’ve discussed before on this blog but it’s something I’m really passionate about because it is one of the biggest factors impacting your quality of life as you get older. It’s so important you understand it.
Sarcopenia is known as age related decline in muscle mass, strength and function, and it happens to everyone. This is what causes us to be frail as seniors. It can cause us to fall, break bones and just generally not be able to look after ourselves.
It may be hard for you to think that far into the future but sarcopenia actually starts happening as early as our 30s when, if we aren’t making an effort to put on muscle mass, it can start declining by .5-1% per year. I’m seeing women walk into my gym in their mid to late 40s who are already frighteningly frail.
We usually give a lot of thought to our financial futures – but what about the future of your body? If you are constantly in a calorie deficit (dieting), you are fighting against your body and breaking it down – rather than building it up. At some point in your fitness journey, you need to make the shift to focusing on strength rather than weight loss. Think of muscle as an investment in your future self.
How To Find Balance
The answer lies in your goals. If you are someone who chases that elusive last bit of weight, I suggest you stop focusing on the scale. You can still hop on it occasionally to monitor your weight but don’t let it be your measure of success or your source of happiness. Get real with yourself – most women aren’t willing to make the changes necessary to get those bodies we see on social media. That’s perfectly ok. You have different priorities which means you will not look like them. But you can set more attainable goals. Like having the best 40 year old body around (or whatever your age).
Remember there are other things that make you look good other than being extra lean. Like being healthy, vibrant and happy.
Fitness will become so much more fun and satisfying if you start focusing on getting stronger. On pushing your limits in the gym. This introduces excitement into your training and ultimately your life. For many women, weight lifting can become a new passion mid-life. It not only transforms how you look and feel physically but mentally as well.
I encourage you to stop and think today. When is this endless dissatisfaction with your body going to stop? Are you focusing on what really matters?
If not, it’s time to make a change.
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