Maybe I’m Just Getting Old
Feeling irritable or emotional? Tired? Always have aches and pains?
Maybe you think this is just how it feels to get old and you worry this is your new normal. I certainly have those days. But I want you to consider that maybe it’s not aging that makes you feel this way. Maybe you’ve lost your balance.
As I always say, you can’t blame aging if you aren’t doing everything else that you should be to take care of yourself. However, I do think that aging requires us to reassess our need for balance and make changes or we will run into problems. We can’t treat our bodies like we did when we were younger.
Before you even think about getting more ‘balance’ in your life, you need to understand what it actually is and how you lost it in the first place.
Your Body Needs Balance
Homeostasis: The tendency of the body to create internal stability and equilibrium. It is the body’s need to have balance.
Another way of putting this is your body strives to keep you in an optimal state of functioning and health. Blood sugar and body temperature are examples of how this works. Your body needs balance. It’s how we are designed.
When we are in balance we will have the best energy, mental functioning and health. It’s a simple idea but it’s very difficult in practice because, as you know, so many things throw us off balance.
Big Things That Cause Us To Lose Balance – Extreme Periods of Stress
Your balance can slowly slip away from you for a number of reasons that we’ll talk about in the next section but first let’s talk about the extreme periods of stress that can completely through you off track.
Middle age (yikes yes we are middle age!) is an extremely challenging time of life because we are often still raising children, trying to advance our careers and sort out our finances and plan for retirement. As if that’s not enough pressure, this is the time of life that we often experience major changes including:
-caring for sick family members
-losing loved ones
-having a health scare or serious illness
-having surgery
-selling, renovating and moving houses
-perimenopause and menopause.
Sometimes we experience multiple big stressors at once. Last year I had a major surgery, ended a long-term relationship, sold a house and moved, and lost my mom. At the same time my business was growing and I was putting pressure on myself to keep up and increase my income so I can buy a house.
By the end of the year I was unbelievably shattered. Somehow we keep going during these times but our bodies will pay the price. This is why restoring balance is so very important.
Little Things That Throw Us Off Balance Even More
We take short cuts with our self-care because life gets too demanding. We think we can get away with it but over time this self-neglect can be disastrous for our bodies and health, both mental and physical.
There are so many seemingly “little” things that throw us off balance. For example:
– poor diet (ie. not enough calories, nutrient imbalances, too much meat/fast food, etc)
– over exercising (or under exercising)
– medications
– exposing ourselves to too much stimulation, always being “on
– working too hard
– sitting too much
– giving too much energy to other people.
Unfortunately we often make these little concessions with our health when the big challenges hit so it’s a double whammy for our bodies.
How To Find Balance
It’s easier to lose your balance than to find it.
In my experience so many of us are frustrated at how easily we lose our balance in midlife. Aging makes a greater demand of us in terms of how we look after our bodies. We can’t get away with the little things anymore. It’s also a hugely challenging time of life for so many of us.
I know it’s easier said than done so I hesitate to give a list of things you’ve seen before. But in the least you MUST have the following sorted out:
Eat well – This doesn’t mean you have to be cooking fancy food or doing anything elaborate, in fact I highly encourage you to keep it simple.
Have recharge periods – Just like you refuel a car, you can’t run on empty and this is especially important after a stressful time period. The longer and bigger the stress, the longer you’ll need to rest.
Be present – Chances are there you have a lot of times in your day when you aren’t as present as you could be. You need to put your phone down. These days I don’t look at my phone when I wake up and I always miss calls because I don’t carry it around. When the day finishes I might message a couple friends but I’m never on social media and when I’m with someone I don’t have my phone. At the gym my phone is for playing music – I have do not disturb on so I don’t get messages or calls.
Don’t look for balance in a doctor’s office – Your doctor can help you figure out what’s going on but medical solutions almost always throw you more out of balance. Medications and surgery both come with costs.
Here are a couple more ways I’ve been trying to find balance:
- I set a rule in my life that I can’t be on the computer after 9:30pm. Funny enough, Nero seems to know this and will sit at my feet and meow if I even go near the computer in the evening.
- I let myself sleep as much as I need. I’m not good at relaxing – I love to work and be busy. So I know sleep is really important for me to recharge because it’s the only time I truly rest. I sleep 9 hours most nights. I feel guilty because it cuts into my work time but sleep is so critical to recovering after all the stress of the past year and also from how hard I push my body on a daily basis.
- I actually schedule times to watch TV and to stop working on the weekends so that I can have some down time. I’m not as good at this truthfully but I am trying!
- I play with Nero everyday and I’m always 100% present with him.
- I have a set time of day and set days of the week for training and I don’t let myself feel guilty for taking time away from the computer to train.
Should You Struggle or Surrender?
We tend to push ourselves to do everything (and to be perfect) and feel frustrated when we can’t. In fact sometimes that disappointment is so strong that it completely throws us off our goals. Like when we can’t be perfect with our workouts or diet.
I get it. Yesterday I felt angry that I’ve been so tired lately I can’t put in the long hours I need to build my business and YouTube channel. I need to rest because I’m not someone that can function long when I’m out of balance. And I’m still recovering from last year (big stress = long recovery time).
I believe the answer is in surrendering rather than trying to be perfect.
Here’s how I surrender:
- When I lay down for a nap instead of pushing through.
- When I close the computer every night despite wanting to clear my inbox.
- When I decide not to clean the house for a few more days or go to bed leaving dishes in the sink.
- When I let myself cry without judgment.
- When I accept that not every workout is going to be amazing and sometimes it’s more about movement and longevity than needing to push to the limits every time.
When you start to resist how you are feeling or feel frustrated you can’t get it all done, it’s a sign that somehow you need to surrender. Remember it’s ok to not be perfect. Learning to work through things and doing the best you can is the key to success.
You should always have goals and push yourself to grow but you have to be realistic and replenish yourself along the way. It’s my job as a coach to help my clients find balance. If you want some help with all of this check out my programs:
Over 40 Transformation Program – Training + Meal Plan (Most Popular!)
Premium Coaching Program – Training, Meal Plan + Weekly Check Ins
