Melanie DUrette

 

It’s been a challenging year for me and I’ve learned a lot. Some of these things I’ve learned on my own, some through coaches and some from you.

Yes you. The women walking through my doors everyday searching for a better version of themselves. The women I am so privileged to work with.

So this blog post is for you. Here’s what you’ve taught me.

 

1. Darn you are tough.

 

I’ve worked with so many women this year and I’ve heard about your challenges – divorces, eating disorders, hysterectomies, job loss, kids or grandkids with health problems, early menopause or just regular menopause, brain injuries, and illnesses like fibromyalgia and cancer. Yet you all continue to be so, so strong and determined.

 

2. Gosh we are all so anxious.

 

Anxiety is a major issue for women (no wonder given the above list). I’m surprised by the number of women who confess to having problems with anxiety. Anxiety undermines our day – it just sits there gnawing at us – disrupting our creative flow and ability to enjoy our lives. It’s something I’ve been struggling with lately and I’m certainly not alone. It helps to know that.

 

3. Tears are not a sign of weakness – they are a sign of how much you love and care.

 

I’ve always felt guilty about crying – like somehow I should be able to stop myself. A very wise woman helped me realize that I cry because I care. Some days I really care.

 

4. Plateaus will happen – in weight loss, relationships, business.

 

Don’t be surprised when they do and don’t give up. Hiring a coach who has the experience to help you break the plateau will save you a lot of struggle and heartache.

 

5. We need to create space to tap into our Wise Mind.

 

This is a concept I learned from working with a psychologist. When you hare having problems making a decision, you’ll often find the answer when you can tap into the Wise Mind – what some describe as intuition. Other states of mind are the Rational Mind (intellectual and rational) and the Emotional Mind (passionate and intense).

The Wise Mind is a feeling of “knowing” what’s right. It has a quality of peace and quietness about it. To tap into it sometimes you need to get away from everything going on in your life, create space and let it come to you naturally.

 

6. Having kids is not easy and all you mothers friggin rock.

 

Ok so I knew this already but having bent the ear of almost every woman I worked with this year about motherhood (something I’m wrestling with in my own life), I’m so moved by the commitment, sacrifice and love from all you mothers out there.

 

7. Surrender to your genetics but don’t be beaten by them.

 

Sometimes bad things happen because of our genetics. Instead of beating ourselves up and thinking “it’s not fair this happens to me, I do everything right” you need to realize that some things are beyond your control (ie. being predisposed to some condition or illness).

But a predisposition isn’t a sentence. Accept the predisposition than do everything in your power to keep yourself healthy. Your lifestyle and attitude are within your control.

 

8. Magnesium is like natural valium for women.

 

I ran out of magnesium for about three weeks this year and I had insomnia and the worst PMS I’ve ever had. Have restocked with six months supply. Lesson learned.

 

9. Carbohydrates aren’t the (my) enemy.

 

This year I learned that I can eat a LOT more carbs that I thought and, in fact, my body responds better when I do. I stumbled on this accidently after ten days in Shanghai eating a lot of white rice and have continued to push the boundaries of how many carbs I eat all year.

Some women need to watch their carb intake, some women need more carbs. Make an effort to figure out what works for you (or ask someone like me for help).

 

10. You don’t go to a doctor to get healthy.

 

That’s an exact quote from a woman doctor so it’s not just me being skeptic. Doctors only know what they know. They don’t get trained in nutrition, fitness, alternative therapies or functional health. There are a few gems out there but don’t expect your doctor to solve your health problem.

You’ve got to do the work yourself and it’s probably going to take a team of different types of coaches to help you.

 

11. Every woman needs a coach (or coaches).

 

Personally this year I’ve worked with a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor, a business coach and a psychologist. It can be a big investment but if you find the right coach/trainer get ready for some serious life changing stuff.

 

12. You need something to go for that inspires the heart and the soul.

 

What gets you fired up? When was the last time you did something that will take you closer to your dreams? As women we get caught up the daily hustle and making sure everyone else is happy. What are your dreams for yourself? Do you even remember?

I love this quote from Jim Rohn:

You’ve got to have something to go for that inspires the heart and the soul. Don’t lose your dreams.

If you don’t take time to dream and set goals, ten years from now you’ll be in the same place. Even if it’s just creating a Pinterest vision board, set some time aside today to do some dreaming.

 

For those of you who have been my teachers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We help each other grow and flourish so if you know any other woman who would benefit from reading this be sure to pass it on to her.

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